I had a panic attack today

I’m okay now. I think. 

I was at work, in a meeting we have everyday. I started getting really hot and buzzing with a nervous energy. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and like I was falling. The whole world just felt sideways. 

It was so sudden and so unexpected, and not triggered by anything. 

And I did it all silently because disrupting the meeting and embarrassing myself felt like it would only make it worse. So I just tried to wait it out and I left early. My boss was totally cool about it and is letting me work from home tomorrow. 

So, I came home and Rich made me lie down and take my temperature, and I have a low grade fever.  I don’t know if one was a product of the other, but it is what it is. I took a long nap but still feel exhausted. 

I have similar experiences to this more often than I’d realized now that I’m thinking about it. I just feel so trapped for no reason. Times in class or work or even relaxing at home when I just get a flood of overwhelming feeling, and I push it deep down to keep hysteria at bay. 

It occurs to me this isn’t normal. 


2 thoughts on “I had a panic attack today”

  1. I have an anxiety disorder. I go through this a lot. I had to hold off a PTSD related anxiety attack for three hours. No it’s not normal.

    But the way you’re talking about dealing with things IS a coping mechanism. Is it a good one? No. It’s kind of like repressing something that will build up over time. Sometimes it’s better to acknowledge it and talk about it. It’s not something you can control, it happens. Sometimes it’s better to let it play out. It’s okay. You’re going to be good. Even if in that moment it doesn’t feel that way.

    But I’d highly suggest talking to someone, preferably, a professional. If you want to talk more about it. Contact me.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, that’s very encouraging to hear. I actually started therapy last spring, but since it was through my college, I couldn’t keep it up for the summer, but I plan on returning to the service that provided it when school starts again in a month or so. Also, I ended up having a fever for two days after this and that’s definitely not normal or okay.


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