How to tell if they’re the one

I always hated it when you ask someone how you know the person you’re with is the One, and they say “You just do,” but to be honest they’re right.

If you read my Relationship Status essay, you know a little about my boyfriend, Rich, and my story, and how with him, it just felt real. But here’s my list of questions to ask yourself if you’re wondering if your partner is the One:

  • Most importantly, do you feel 100% comfortable being yourself around them?
    • Do they get your humor and your struggles, can you tell them all your secrets? Basically do they get the real you?
  • Can you stand silence when you’re around them? Just hanging out, each doing your own thing?
  • But when you are talking, do you feel like you never want to stop?
    • I mentioned this before in my essay, but for the times we hung out before we were dating up to now, when Rich and I have gone out to eat, we always wound up staying at our table long after our food is finished, just talking and joking.
  • Do they make you feel completely confident and important?
    • The guy I dated in high school made me feel confident in some ways but not in all ways the way Rich does. A couple smallish incidents stand out in my mind where he did not make me feel my best: he told me I didn’t look very good in brown since I have brown hair, he also said my head didn’t look right with my hair in a bun or braid (like the only two ways I ever want to wear it btw).
  • Do they make time for you?
    • Even if they’re busy or would rather stay home are they more than willing to come over if you need or even just want them?
  • Have things that are important to them become important to you and vice versa?
    • For example, I’ve always been into video games to some extent, but since they’re a big part of Rich’s life (he used to compete and has made many lifelong friends through online gaming), I’ve played more, often with him, and talk to him about them frequently. And it doesn’t just go one way, I very much enjoy makeup! He has the layout of our local Ulta pretty much completely memorized, recognizes YouTube beauty gurus that I watch, and remembers the products I mention that I like or am interested in.
  • The bottom line for me is, when you imagine yourself years from now, deciding what to eat for dinner or what to watch on TV or what color cabinets, are they the person you imagine discussing (or maybe even arguing) with  these things? And not some imaginary dream prince who has a vast fortune and rides around on a white horse, we’ve all had those fantasies, but really, really realistically, do you see yourself with them in the far off future?

These are just a few of the reasons I know he’s the one for me, honestly I could name a billion, what are some important factors to knowing they’re the one?



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