real life

Something that makes me happy

Exploring with my best friend for my birthday weekend last week:

A sleeping Red Panda at the Indianapolis Zoo. 


Sushi at Mikado not far from the Circle in downtown Indy. We were the only ones there! It wasn’t our favorite sushi, but good and good quality. 


We went to Funky Bones, which I’d never seen before, but was awesome!

We also went to an ice cream place called Lick, which was a strange experience to say the least. First, we got to the address and didn’t see anything but warehouse-like buildings. So, we called the listed number and they told us there was a sign out front, we had to drive around the block again but finally saw the tiny sign poking out in front of a little art shop. We walked into the art store and asked the person working who directed us down a hallway. It had a really school-in-the-summer type vibe, in that it was totally deserted with linoleum flooring, cream walls, and tube lights. At the end of a hallway and around a corner, we finally found it. Just one small room with a kitchen visible in the back. The decor was cool, a counter with vintage ice cream scoops stood in one corner and the wall had posters depicting the same. In the other corner was a small cart with four or five flavors of ice cream in it. The only person working was one of the two sisters who share the business. No one else was in sight. Just as we were thinking, this is odd, the lights flickered and the lady working went, “oh, hmm.” And then she murdered us. 

But not really, obviously, she was just a chill lady who was passionate about ice cream. We got a sweet corn cookie sandwich with salted caramel ice cream. And it was actually really good! 

That was a long tangent on ice cream; it was certainly a memorable experience. 


It was a really good day. 

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real life

You Are Here Tour

Jenny Lawson is on tour for her latest book, You Are Here, and last night she was in Louisville. My best friend, Haleigh, who encouraged me to read her book Furiously Happy, lives in Louisville. I had to drive about 6-7 hours round trip to make it there, but it was so worth it.

She did a reading of the introduction to her new book and then jumped right into the Q&A. People asked about everything from her cats and raccoons to advice about writing and feeling better. There were snafus with the way the signing was organized and having to wait and the music being loud, but I would do it all again. I don’t think my retelling can do it justice, but it was a great night.

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There wasn’t time for her to get to my question, but when she was signing my book I did get to talk to her.

“Mostly because of Furiously Happy, I recently signed up for my first ever counseling session,” I told her.

“That’s awesome! Signing up for the first one is the hardest part and finding your right therapist is like finding a best friend.” Jenny Lawson seemed so kind and genuine and like a real life human, not like some untouchable celebrity or android or octopus or something. If you haven’t read her books, I highly suggest you do so and see her on tour, too, if you get the chance.

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Here’s Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Furiously Happy, and You Are Here all on Amazon. I listened to the first two on Audible (they’re read by the author!).

thoughts

Goddamn Beautiful 

Why do we have to make everything out to be so goddamn beautiful? Not everything is a basket of roses (is that even a phrase? Whatever you get what I’m saying).

I know a guy who when I was first getting to know him seemed so interested in my history with sadness, and not in an inspiring, overcoming kind of way. Maybe he was just trying to relate, but I’d try to steer conversation to something lighter and more comfortable, and he’d steer it right back to literal depression. That, among numerous other things best left unsaid (eh, for now, anyway), really bothered me about him.

I think trying to make everything, especially depression, into something beautiful takes away from the truly wonderful moments in life.

I don’t think there’s beauty in sadness or pain. I think it’s like a belt that’s too tight. You feel like you can’t get rid of it, it’s what you have, it’s not like you feel like going out and getting a new one, you need one right now and a new one might be worse than this one, more shoddily made or even smaller, but even the first hole is too tight and uncomfortable and makes you feel like a busted biscuit can. And sometimes you get used to it and forget about it for a while, but suddenly you shift your weight, and there it is again, digging into your gut.

I’ve been having a really good week, though! Like my belt feels almost just right. In fact, right now, I’m feeling maybe the happiest I’ve felt in a good while. I’ve gotten to spend a lot of time with my family this week, I’m on spring break, and I just spent the evening with my best friend and am spending the day with her again tomorrow! And as I’m typing this on my phone, lying in bed, my boyfriend is asleep behind me. He’s kind of half spooning me with his arm and leg thrown over me and his head nuzzled into my back, breathing in slow and deep. Every once in a while he half wakes up, readjusts and cuddles closer. I don’t know what it is but this is so comforting to me. I know soon he’ll get too hot or have to roll over, but right now I feel wonderful and happy and light and this moment is so goddamn beautiful.